Who Am I? – A Story By Solome Basuuta

Photo Courtesy of: Wabwire Wagner Photography

Identity is a word I didn’t know much about until I started dating in 2004 at Makerere University.

This journey started out with me succumbing to pressure to date a classmate. It was the beginning of an emotional roller coaster.

I didn’t grow up knowing who I was. I never asked myself, Who am I? What do I like?

As a result, I was one of those people who went with the flow. That mindset spilled over into how I dated.  With my first boyfriend, I was naive and clueless.  I had no plan.  I just went with what I felt. 

A good friend asked me what the future was with my boyfriend, and I had no concrete answer.

There was no plan on my side. I felt I entered the relationship because of pressure.

 I ended the relationship with a text message which was immature of me. It was a total shock for him. He did not see it coming.

The relationships that followed were typically two-week, emotionally charged relationships, which led nowhere.

When any of those relationships ended, I felt empty and worthless. All that happened because at the core, I didn’t know myself. I didn’t have boundaries. I didn’t value myself. 

After a while, I entered a two-year relationship with a great guy.  Problems arose because I had not addressed my identity issues. 

I put very high expectations on him, which I didn’t know how to communicate.

He couldn’t meet them for two reasons. First, he never knew my expectations and secondly, no one is perfect.

To cut the story short, this relationship ended and it was heart breaking….

Identity was the core issue I had not dealt with.

God took me on a personal journey of discovering who I was in Him.

I came to know who Solome Basuuta is, what she likes and dislikes – what she believes in.

During that period, I learnt to stand on my own and be okay. I learnt how to be my own company and enjoy it.

I have found that in all relationships, we need to have a strong foundation of who we are, so when someone comes into our lives, they compliment us.

Many times, I have witnessed a person attempt to find themselves in someone else. It causes them to become a parasite to their friend, spouse, or partner.

This results in a miserable relationship for both parties.

Relationships are beautiful when two people are grounded in who they are. 

The result of this is a life where two people bring out the best in each other. They allow the other person to be.

#Walalala #You are Loved

Written by Solome Basuuta.

Click here to download Solome’s latest song “Nsuubira”.

Follow Solome Basuuta on:

Twitter: @SolomeBasuuta

Facebook: @solomebasuuta

Instagram: solomebasuuta

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